More Adventures in Convoluted Thought

April 21, 2009

Tea Baggers might want to check their facts next time they call in sick or take a personal day to protest an “evil democratic president’s” excessive tax hikes.  Actually, 95% of us at the bottom get a tax break.  They call President Obama a socialist, a communist, a facist and a nazi.  Wow, he’s Eugene V. Debbs, Nikita Kruschev, Benito Mussolini and Adoph Hitler all rolled into one.  Man, that’s one bad america hating dude.  He really pulled the wool over our eyes(except for those astute tea baggers).   Yes, the top 5% of wage earners have to pay a little more in taxes.  OMG!  We’ll all soon be working in collective farms – and they’ll take away our ipods!   But the rate for the super rich dudes/dudettes is still lower than what they were paying under that great tax cutter, Ronald Reagan.  Check out the below chart, courtesy of MoveOn.org(aka “Far Left Loonies” per Bill “Megalomaniac” O’Reilly, aka Bill “Falafel” O’Reilly):tax_rate-chart2Check out the 50s – when Dwight D. Eisenhower, a Republican, was in office.  The top rate was a whopping 91%!!!!!    If Obama is a socialist for his current minor tax jump for the super wealthy, wouldn’t that make Eisenhower something in the order of Karl Marx’ Evil Twin (non-identical twin, of course):

Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States and ----

Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States and worse than ----

KARL MARX!!

KARL MARX!!


Tea Baggin’ – or “National Corporate Sponsored, Exploit a Bunch of Poor Chumps for Usual Selfish Gain Day”

April 16, 2009

“Duh, I didn’t know that.”  That’s what they might say, if our working folk friends who partook in some corporate sponsored Tea Bag protesting yesterday(4/15) could take a magic “honesty” pill and then read this:  http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/Obama-tea-baggers-Ive-already/story.aspx?guid={30C2C4A6-E7AA-4833-A6E7-83C558FFA037} – but of course, Obama and all them other stinkin’ liberals are all liars, so don’t bother them with “facts.”   Remember, “In Mega Rich Dudes We Trust.”

Hey Tea Baggers – today is National Gullibility Day – go to a tatoo parlor and get “Duh” put on your foreheads.   Geez.

Meanwhile, has this ever happened since the Civil War?  Not just a governor, but a Governor from highly populated Texas, Governor Rick Perry, speaking at a Tea Bag Rally in Austin, said Texas could secede from the Union.  Perry, a big Bush/Cheney supporter, never brought this up during the Bush years.   He considers them true patriots and considers Obama an America Hater.   Or as little babies everywhere say when they don’t get their way:  “Wahhhhhhh.”

Texas Governor Rick Perry - "the new Jefferson Davis?"

Texas Governor Rick Perry - "the new Jefferson Davis?"


Glenn Beck Claims New Obama Dog is Also a Socialist

April 13, 2009

Actually, that’s not true – as of this very moment.  His show doesn’t air until tonight – tune in then and find out.

Registered in the American Kennel Club as "Canine Commie."  Just a joke - OR IS IT?

Registered in the American Kennel Club as "Canine Commie." Just a joke - OR IS IT?

note: I thought up this joke before Jay Leno’s writers, 4/13/09


ODS Strikes Right Wing Media

April 12, 2009

I never heard of the term BDS until someone accused me of suffering from this strange malady and I googled it.  BDS, short for Bush Derangement Syndrome, is a term first coined back in 2003 by conservative columnist and former practicing psychiatrist Charles Krauthammer.    Apparently, Dr. Krauthammer, an intense Iraq War supporter, has the medical ability to discover new mental illnesses, but not the medical knowledge to cure himself of an intense case of Chickenhawk-a-mania(along with colleagues such as George Will, William Kristol and Brit Hume, to name just a few others).

Apparently those who believe BDS is a real disease do so because there is no rational reason for anyone to have a strong dislike for  George Bush, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld or any of those other righteous dudes of yesteryear.   But alas, we now have Sean Hannity claiming we’re on the verge of Obam- led facism; Glenn Beck crying on camera because he loves this country and he is certain Obama is starting FEMA concentration camps and coo-coo congresswoman Michelle Bachman saying Obama will soon introduce Liberal/Socialist Re-Education Camps for children.  Home foreclosures are sky high in her district, but that’s not important, let’s focus on the real priorities.   Besides, real Americans tough it out in hard times and live in cardboard boxes by dumpsters, so “John Wayne It Up” and stop your sniveling, you socialist, entitlement lovin’ sissies.

OK, now it’s ODS time:  Obama Derangement Syndrome.   Only one thing that mystifies medical science on this strange ailment – do you get it from being off your meds – or - on your meds?   In Rush Limbaugh’s case, that’s extremely difficult to diagnose.

Functional

Functional

Disfunctional

Dysfunctional


Hannity Today, Hannity Yesterday, Hannity Forever – Agghhh!!

April 5, 2009

As you may have tried not to have heard already, Faux News bloviator Sean Hannity cherry picked President Obama’s excellent town hall speech in Strasbourg, France to make it seem like an attack on America.  The President was criticizing both American and European resentments toward each other.  Typically, Hannity quoted only half of what the President actually said:   FULL STORY ON RAWSTORY.COM

Might seem silly at first, but if Hannity and Fox News were around earlier in american history:

jfk-copy1Famous JFK quote, from famous JFK speech in Berlin: “All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin, and therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words, ‘Ich bin ein Berliner’”

Hannity interpretation: He said “Ich bin ein Berliner.”  He identifies as a Berliner, not as an American.  If Richard Nixon had won the 1960 election, you can bet he wouldn’t embarrass America like that.   Kennedy has spoken like a true liberal democrat.  He’s spoken in “treasonese.”   You know what it takes to impeach?  High crimes and misdeamers.  Does this fall into this category?  You betcha.  Only a fellow traitor would think otherwise.


fdr1Franklin Roosevelt quote on Democracy and Education: “Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.”

Hannity interpretation: He said “Democracy cannot succeed.”  We are doomed.   For more on this, tune in to Father Coughlin sunday night at 8 on FOX.


lincolnAbraham Lincoln, talking about slavery, in a letter to a friend: “Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it.”

Hannity Interpretation: Hold on to your hats for this one.  And if Stephen Douglas is watching, expect an long overdue apology from all those liberal America haters who put your odious opponent into office.   A private letter mailed by President Lincoln to a personal friend has been intercepted by Fox News – and I have no problem reading other peoples mail if that person is a traitor – and here’s the proof right here.  Get this.  This is an actual quote.  He says he believes the federal government should, in his words “deny freedom to others.”  That’s right, your president wants to deny you your freedom.   Are those liberal republicans crazy or what?


A Rush of Insanity

April 1, 2009

Obama wants to nationalize the economy, New York City can “drop dead”, Obama is an angry man and his wife is an angry woman.  Rush Limbaugh, of course, is cool, calm, collected – and most importantly, totally sane.

If someone acts crazy, we might nowadays say “get back on your meds.”   In Rush’s case, it would be “get off your meds.”

heard daily on EIB - Egomania in Broadcasting Network

heard daily on EIB - Egomania in Broadcasting Network